Networking gets a bad rap mainly because some don’t understand how it should work.

Some fear networking because they don’t want to be “greasy.”  Others fear it because they don’t want to lie.  Still others shy away from it because they’re uneasy about begging.

No wonder networking gets such a bad rap. 

The truth is, though, that networking doesn’t rely on being greasy, nor lying, nor begging.  Those who abuse their network will invariably see it dry up and have a tough time developing new contacts.

Here are a few ways people abuse their network – and things you should avoid:

Superficial. Ever know somebody who skims the surface?  Who only engages in small talk?  We all have.  And, while they might experience a short-term gain, they invariably hit a plateau; a stagnation.  And, just as invariably, they’re passed on the career ladder by more genuine individuals.

Needy.  “I’ll even mop your floor, wash your car and feed your cat if you…”  Most of us would never utter those words, but some are willing to lose their dignity and beg for help.  Some are even willing to offer everything – to give the farm away, so to speak – without the slightest regard for how they appear.  Not many like to be around – or help – a beggar.

Bossy.  On the opposite end of the spectrum from needy, there are bossy people.  They not only expect assistance, but they all but order people to provide help.  Since this type of person doesn’t have his/her networking contacts on his/her payroll (and s/he needs assistance), it’s unlikely s/he will get the help needed.  After all, it’s easier to get bees with honey than vinegar.

Blunt.  This is the evil (and passive aggressive) twin of “Bossy.” But whereas “Bossy” orders, “Blunt” expects.  Blunt people lay out what they need, then expect people to volunteer to provide assistance.  They’ll usually phrase what they need in such a way that their contact will either jump on board or be shunned.   Who wants to help someone like that?

IN THE CARAVAN: Network abusers don’t network correctly.  To avoid becoming one, avoid being superficial, needy, bossy or blunt.

NEXT TUESDAY: Top Five Ways to  Increase Networking Quality

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